Not-So-Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

It's our special time of year again.  Happy Mother's Day!  xoxo

I thought that each passing year would get a little easier, but not so.  It seems the longer you're gone, the more I long for you to be here.  Mother's Day was always a special time of year ... and one that you loved dearly.  We would shower you in gifts ... but you would still cook your infamous Sunday Dinner, no matter how hard we tried to get you away from the stove ;)!

I know you've been with me since 2006 in spirit, after all, I would not have made it through my transplant and continued good health without your strength and spirit being with me all the way.  I understand it was your time; however I still question why ... a question I won't yet find the answer to.  You know I don't usually question "why", but you leaving us does require an answer, I'm sure ... but alas, I will wait.

As you know, this past year has been rocky to say the least.  Health-wise I've been fabulous ... and life-wise we were able to cruise again :)!  But everything else ... well, it's gone to shit.  I find it funny sometimes how people will say "don't sweat the small stuff" ... but when you can't see your way out of the dark, it does get a little scary!!  I try to tell myself that everything will work itself out ... but I seem to be spinning my wheels over and over ...

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and miss you terribly.  There have been lots of things I've done since 2006 that I would have loved for you to be next to me to celebrate and experience ... but I do know you are with me.

Happy Mother's Day Mom!  xoxo