... and here I go again ...

I knew that I wouldn't last too long without getting another tattoo ... I think that I'm officially ADDICTED!!  This will be number 6 ... and I'm still not finished!!

I've wanted something to both memorialize and honor my puppies that I've had throughout my life ... mainly my puggers.  I wanted an actual portrait of each baby, but unfortunately, my pug family has grown throughout the years to include 6 to-date ... so puggies faces, as much as I wanted them, wasn't possible.

Then came the decision as to what I actually wanted and how I was going to distinguish between them all :)!  I didn't want names, initials, or birth dates tattooed, so I decided on birth month colors!

As you can see, each paw print is distinguished by a colored butterfly representing each doggie's birth month ... ending with our newest addition, Willow the beagle on top :)!

This tattoo gives me more room to add to the design - as I add to the family :)!

I absolutely LOVE IT!  Thanks Chuck, White Scorpion Tattoos!!

CHECK AND CHECK!

Although I wasn't 'supposed' to have to travel to Toronto for more assessments, the team decided that because I was exposed to the b. cepacia in September 2008, a follow up assessment was needed to check on the 2 year exposure mark.

After being exposed to b. cepacia, there is a 2 year period that one can test positive - it can happen at any time in those 2 years - even at the 2 year mark!  YES, scary stuff.  Although testing positive for b. cepacia is not an automatic death sentence - it's not a nice thing to develop.  With CF patients [pre and post transplant], the outcomes are not as good.  It often leads to rapid decline in health and lung function pre-transplant, and can ultimately do the same post.

Thankfully, at this point - I don't have that to worry about!! YIPPEE!!

Also, during my assessment, I did have the entire routine tests - with all of them coming back great!!  The chronic rejection scare in February has seemed to pass for the time being.  My lung function [FEV1] is again at my baseline of 2.9!  For some strange reason, my FEV1 often fluctuates from test to test.  It's always done this pre-transplant, but it seems to be occurring again now.  I'm starting to think I have somewhat of the 'white coat syndrome' when it comes to PFTs [HAHA].  Nevertheless, the fluctuation doesn't matter much - especially when it returns to my baseline :)!

So, here's hoping that things will continue to progress and improve - or at the very least, stay the same!  I hope that my donor family realizes just how important their kindness has been, and what a tremendous new life they have given me :)!  xoxo

SURVIVING CYSTIC FIBROSIS - ASHLEY'S STORY

I had no idea when I initially was contacted by Ashley's mother, Caroline Donnelle just over a year ago, that Ashley would become one of those people who will leave a lasting impact on me.  I remember the contact well ... Caroline had informed me of Ashely's declining health, and with me just receiving a double-lung transplant a year earlier - and coming from out of province, she was eager to understand and get some "tips" on relocating to another province.

I remember our last conversation turned into more of confirmation - Ashley NEEDED a transplant, and Caroline was making sure that she WAS going to get one!  Now, that's a great mom indeed!  Caroline told me that she was leaving Montreal with Ashley and driving to Toronto.  I was horrified at the thought of trekking across provinces with oxygen, but I KNEW that Caroline would get her there safe and sound - and sure enough, it wasn't too long and I had heard from Caroline - they had arrived in Toronto and Ashley was hospitalized!!

I remember reassuring Caroline and Ashley that her time WOULD come - I kinda have a sixth sense about somethings and some people - and Ashley was one of those people.  It wasn't too long after and Caroline had emailed to let me know Ashley was gone into surgery.

Following a few "bumps", Ashley is now doing fantastic - and one great advocate for the CF Community!

Here's Ashley's story, covered by Macleans ...

SURVIVING CYSTIC FIBROSIS

I just hope that one day soon, we can meet in person!

... AND SO THE FUN BEGINS

After 10 years of marriage, it looks like we're FINALLY going on a honeymoon - or well, at least a REAL vacation!

We made the decision to book a cruise and finally enjoy ourselves!

A couple of friends have already booked and we decided that for our first vacay, we would join them!  Needless to say, I'm pretty pumped about the whole thing!  It's something I have dreamed about - and to be honest, it's about time that we did something for ourselves.  Life is never going to be easy, and we are never going to be in a position that we can just spend, spend, spend ... so what the hell!  Life is short and you only go this way once [or in my case a few times :)].

We've booked on the Carnival Dream - a new ship with the Carnival Crusielines.  I've NEVER pictured myself on a cruise, but this particular one has a number of ports that I WANT to visit ... so in reality, we're getting 4 trips for the price of a cruise!  Can't go wrong there!

Look at that puppy!

I can already feel the warm ocean breeze and taste those wonderful drinks :)!

I'll post more details as they come - right now we're busy getting passports, appropriate medical stuff, vaccines, etc.  Oh the joys of an 'abnormal' life ... but an oh so wonderful one all the same.

GOD & DOG

This is such a sweet video ... absolutely love it! So very true!

WHAT WAS

I was just looking through some of my pictures that I had pre-transplant, and thinking about what life was like at that time.  To be honest, I can't remember too much about that time ... blame it on the lack of oxygen, or just my body and mind blocking it out. 

This is a picture of me just 2 days before I got my call.  I'm not sure how much more my body could have held on ... luckily, those lungs came right on time!  As you can see, I was pretty much confined to a wheel chair to get around ... not something that I was too comfortable with ... but I could barely dress myself or get to the bathroom without getting severely out of breath, seeing black spots and having the wonderful pounding headache from the lack of oxygen.

Never the less, I kept on smiling ...

30 MONTHS AGO ...

30 months; 2 and a half years ago today, I was waking from surgery!  I had received the ultimate gift ... a second chance at life!

I don't remember too much from the following days, but I remember this day so clearly!  What stands out, and has stood out, is the difference in my breathing.  Although I had been intubated, I can still remember the easy that there was with breathing ... and that I didn't feel congested AT ALL!

It was the next morning that they removed the tube and that's when I REALLY noticed the difference!!  Amazing, unbelievable, there are just no words to describe it, even to this day!

What is most amazing, is the generosity of my donor and their family.  Only if you've had this experience can you really, truly, be inspired by the kindness of some individuals.  Although it's against protocol, I would love to meet my donor's family and learn of the person who gave me my new, wonderful life ... maybe someday by chance ... who knows.

I think my picture shows the excitement [even with all the meds] that I was feeling to wake up with a new life!  There will never be anything to top this feeling and the joy I've experienced since that day!

For those who are not donors, please re-consider and help save someone's life!  Newfoundland and Labrador DOES have an organ procurement and exchange program.  If you want to learn more about this and other organ donations options, please click the link above!

PLEASE DON'T TAKE YOUR ORGANS TO HEAVEN, HEAVEN KNOWS WE NEED THEM HERE!

TIME FOR A CHANGE

I thought that updating my blog would be a great place to start.  I'm very picky when it comes to colors, fonts, design ... if only I knew a little more about designing using html codes ... oh well, maybe I see an online course in my future.

Hope you enjoy ... and please hang tight until things are up and running smoothly!!

MY LIFE ... WHERE HAS IT GONE??!!

"I was given this life because I'm strong enough to live it"

I absolutely love that quote, and for me, it's so very true!  I've been handed a lot of crap throughout my life and have been able to manage and deal with whatever was piled on my plate.  For as long as I can remember, it's been this way ... but to be honest, I've had just able enough of it!

I was given this new life just over 2 years ago ... and what have I done ... NOTHING!  I've stressed, panicked, tortured, and just able pulled my hair out over "stuff" that I have little to no control over.

I have always wanted and attempted to "control" my life.  Living with CF ... you're forced to do that, or give up.  So far I've done a pretty damn good job of "controlling" my life ... until now ...

I keep thinking back to 2 years ago, right before and right after transplant.  Living just on the brink of life or death puts a lot of things into perspective.  In February 2008, I honestly thought that I would not live to see my birthday in May of that year.  To be honest, I wouldn't have lasted until the end of the month.  But I didn't let that stop me.  Yes, life at that time was little more than existing, but I still kept myself as healthy as I possibly could ... "controlling" it as best I could.  To be honest, life was simple at that point ... I had ME to think of ... and ME only!  It was nice.

Following transplant, life had a whole new meaning.  I was still just thinking about ME and want a wonderful second chance I had been given.  I vowed that I would cherish each and every moment as this was not only my life, but a continuation of the life of my donor ... just a little more pressure :)!

That all changed when I returned home to 'reality' ... but there was no reason that it had to ... I just let it happen.  Now here I am with all the stress of my previous life, plus added stressors of crap that has happened since, and stressors of my new life.  I didn't expect to live a care-free life ... but I WANTED to enjoy the new life I was given.  I feel so guilty that this isn't happening.

I just want to enjoy my new life, my home, my husband, my doggies, my family ... and when I want a little "more", I would have work to rely on for that.  I don't want to be lazy and just sit around the house ... but I WANT a life and I WANT to enjoy THIS LIFE!

I WANT the opportunity to do things that I didn't have the opportunity to do because of my health

I WANT to be spontaneous and jump on a plane for a vacation when I NEED one

I WANT a simple life ... with less worries ... after all, I have plenty of health-related worries to deal with

i just WANT to LIVE MY LIFE!  This NEW LIFE!

I hate to dwell on the negative and "not-so-joyous" parts of life ... but if I'm going to rant a little, I may as well get it all out.  I know life isn't easy and we have to play the hand we're dealt, but I'm not asking for an EASY life ... I just WANT to wake up and not have all other crap to deal with ... I've dealt with my share for a while ...

IN NEED OF A BREAK

I'm not one to complain and I LOVE a bit of chaos and crisis sometimes .... but just that, SOMETIMES! With my new job that I took the middle of June, I expected a bit of a change and a bit more 'excitement'. My job is by no means a quite desk job ... and no more do I want it to be that!

But these past few weeks ... well ... have proven to be just a tad bit stressful!

Not that my work is any more stressful ... yes, it's a lot more busier since the middle of July, but that combined with home life is proving to be a bit much to manage.

I've finally gotten an offer on a property that I've had for sale for a number of years. It's located in a very rural area, and to be honest, I didn't think that I would ever sell it. I'm not looking to make any amount of money, but I just want it off my hands, so I don't have to worry about it anymore! So, things have been progressing more slowly with that, than I had expected. First off, I couldn't find the survey/deed of the land. I KNOW it's done, but no where to be found. Secondly, the septic that was SUPPOSED to be inspected in 2005, has no record of being done. And thirdly, I have family members who are proving to be a royal pain in the ass.
Instead of helping me get the damn thing off my hands, I'm running into road block after road block. I now have the survey completed and the septic is to be inspected on Monday ... but if my patience can hold out until the things is finalized .... well, we will have to wait and see. It's not looking good!!

 On top of that, we're trying to re-mortgage our home. Yes, it's that time again ... and something else that's proving to be a pain! With our first mortgage we had an inspector do a drive by appraisal ... now they are wanting the full blown in-home inspection!! We're hoping to get that finalized on Monday and get everything straightened out before the first week of September.

I wouldn't mind doing all these little pain the butt things, but working on top of that ... just isn't happening! I've always been able to manage and handle a number of things at once ... I'm a great multi-tasker ... but to be honest, I'm sick of it!! I don't want to have to worry and stress about a bunch of stuff ... I just wanna live this new life that I've been given ...

... I want to enjoy ME!

This is such a great CF awareness video. It's so amazing that they filmed the entire thing underwater!!

First and probably last holiday ....

I finally decided to take a few days off work and try to enjoy myself. Every year since I've graduated [2003] I have only taken time off for doctor's appointments, sickness, bereavement, to help friends, attend weddings, cancer treatments, and of course my transplant. I have NEVER taken a day for myself!

With my new job ... and permanent status, I decided to take a week. Yes, I know you're asking, "why only a week", but I did have a reason. Because I'm never really sure when Toronto will come a-calling ... I always want to have a few days banked for such cases.

Now after my weekend off, I was saying the same thing to myself ... "why didn't I take 2 weeks" ... and of course, the thought hadn't crossed my mind when I got 'a call' ... Toronto wants me back the first week of September!! As this is the 2 year mark from when I was exposed to b. cepacia, protocol is that I be followed for 2 years. If negative at that time, I should be in the clear for ever developing the bug. So far I'm testing negative ... only September will tell ...

Of course, here I am at the start of my official holiday and now this news ... why didn't I just want until September and take 2 weeks then??!! Now I'm feeling guilty that I have to leave work AGAIN .. plus the numerous tests and doctor's appointments that I'll have to have prior to the trip ... aaaagggghhhh!

SO, MY HOLIDAY'S ARE SHOT ...

Now what ... I'm heading back to work, no more relaxed then before ... and probably more stressed about the upcoming assessment in Toronto! Oh the joys of this wonderful, unpredictable, boring, yet exciting life ... YAY ME!

I think my next holiday will be a 2 week trip somewhere HOT ... and when will that happen ... your guess is as good as mine !!!

NEWEST ADDITION ... PART SIX ... FINISHED!!

I can FINALLY say my Phoenix tattoo is finished!! Although it took a year to complete, I did hold out and now I have the most wonderful artwork!

A tattoo like this doesn't actually take a year to do, but with my transplant, I wanted to make sure that each and every sitting was COMPLETELY healed to ensure I didn't pick up any infection. Thanks to White Scorpion Tattoo, I have EXACTLY want I wanted ... and even more!

The last sitting (and did I mention FINAL sitting) we added a little more shading, and changed the light purple to a darker purple ... I just LOVE IT!

So, am I finished with the ink ... NO WAY! I have my next appointment on October 2 2010 and have my next 2 tats picked out and ready to go. The first will be a memorial/honor tattoo representing my doggies ... stay tuned to see the final product!

BEAGLE PAWS

Considering that we adopted Willow from Beagle Paws ... I thought it was fitting to do a little promoting! Such a sweet video :)!

Nikki Yanofsky - For Another Day

Needless to say, I was happily surprised to find that my nephew had the opportunity to star in this video with Nikki Yanofsky!! Way to go Colby!!

BREATHING

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I got the job ... PERMANENTLY!!

I was fortunate enough to get hired last year, May 4 2009, within a semi-government job. The problem at the time was I left a full-time contract job for a full-time temp job ... just a tad bit scary, considering we're still trying to "recover" from my transplant relocation in 2007/2008! I decided, despite all the question marks to make the move and hope for the best.

Luckily I was fortunate to work the entire year, up until June 1 2010 when I got another "call" ... I was offered a permanent, full-time job with the agency! Although it's not the ideal location for me (it's only a 35-40 minute drive) ... I jumped at the chance!

Our agency is in for some BIG changes, but at least I'll be going along with them :0)!

I'D GIVE YOU ONE

I just love this video ...

WILLOW ... the new baby!

Well, look at this face!

We decided to attend the Adopt-a-Beagle hosted by Beagle Paws on May 8 2010, St. John's, NL. I had always viewed the available Beagle's on the Beagle Paws website, but wasn't really prepared to take on that kind of responsibility when I hadn't met the poocher in person ... plus I had my girlies to think about.

We had no intention in adopting a new doggie, but when we saw this face, who could resist!!

Willow, as we are told, is approximately 1-2 years old and was relinquished by her owner because she didn't hunt. There was no known history of abuse (physical), but she was a tiny little thing when we saw her.

Willow came to live with us on May 8 2010 and has been a joy to our family! She's still very much a puppy at heart and of course the energy of a Beagle on top of that. We're not that use to such activity, as our puggies are very laid back and lazy girlies. Nevertheless, Willow has proven to wriggle her way into our hearts!

She's beginning to learn the rules of the house ... house training has proven to be her biggest challenge! Or maybe ours! Although she's still an active doggie, she is starting to relax a little and is fitting in just perfectly!

WELCOME WILLOW xoxo

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

As I've mentioned previously on my blog, I found Eva Markvoort's blog, 65 Red Roses just following my transplant in 2008.  Eva had revived her transplant in 2007, but but later found out that she was experiencing chronic rejection.  Eva had only one chance, a second transplant.  Unfortunately, Eve's wait has come to an end.  Even though Eva had every bit of determination and stamina to wait for her surgery, her lungs were just unable to wait ... Eva lost her battle with CF yesterday, March 27 2010.

The world and CF community has lost a wonderful advocate and person.  Eva was full of LOVE and received just as much in return.

My only regret is that I was unable to meet Eva in person.

Eva, breathe easy ... and LOVE!